Three old guys are hanging out in the nursing home

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They're old friends, and every day they sit together and shoot the breeze.

One day, Bob, the 70 year old, says "You know, I don't mind getting old. I can still play golf, flirt with the ladies - life's good! But you know what I miss? I miss peeing. Lord, I haven't had a good piss in years - I'd give anything for a good long piss!"

Fred, the 80 year old, replies: "Well Bob, life's pretty damn good for me too. But the thing I miss, is pooping. I don't think I've had a satisfying, solid shit in years. Man, I'd give almost anything for one good shit!"

Then Stan, the 90 year old, chimes in. "You guys are such wimps! Why, every morning - and I mean every morning - I take a good, long piss. Always at 9AM too - why it must be about a quart! And every morning I take a really big dump. And by big I mean big. And right on schedule, like clockwork, at 10AM....

Now... what I'd really like though, is to wake up - just once - sometime before 11AM..."

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