The best situation set-up I've ever heard in real life..

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My army platoon was training a decade ago when this happened, I still laugh about it today. I'll not use names, just ranks.

We had just finished a mission and field maintenance and had about an hour of down-time before our next briefing, so the whole platoon was in a tent sitting on cots in a circle just bullshitting. One of the sergeants, a particularly vulgar guy, starts telling some nasty and offensive jokes which starts the whole platoon off on a spree of similar jokes. We had a Lieutenant, my LT, who was not a fan of these kinds of jokes and was getting aggravated as each joke began to get more and more vulgar. Every joke we knew from blonde to women to racist to dead baby jokes and he would openly display his dislike for these jokes with comments like, "that's not funny," or, "that's just wrong." Eventually, he had hit his limit right after a PFC told a holocaust joke, saying, "why did Hitler really kill himself?" One of the other sergeants asked, "why?" The private responded with, "because of the gas bill." At this point, the LT was very disturbed and stated, "do you know how horrible that is? Millions of people died in camps and you are laughing about being gassed?" One of the other privates who hadn't done much talking immediately says to the LT, "yeah sir, my grandfather died in a concentration camp." Everyone kind of gets quiet because we weren't sure really what to say, the LT looks at him and puts a hand on his shoulder and says, "I'm so terribly sorry for how insensitive everyone was being towards you, I sincerely apologize for the whole platoon." Without missing a beat in an amazingly deadpan poker face, the private looks at my LT and says, "the drunk bastard fell out of a guardtower." The entire platoon was falling out of cots, rolling on the floor laughing to the point of crying at that magnificent set-up. The LT just stands up, says "watch my cot," and walks out of the tent. The laughter must have continued for about 5 minutes.

The LT eventually came around and understood, he's going to be around soldiers and these jokes will be told. I'm sure the "drunk bastard" line for that joke has been used, but in that situation, it was absolutely hilarious.




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