In keeping with the renaming of National Airport to Ronald Reagan National
Airport, the FAA has required the following changes to be made on all
1. A portion of all ticket sales must be routed to Iran.
2. Vegetarian meals will consist only of ketchup.
3. I don't recall.
4. First class seating will drastically improve, while coach class will be
moved to the baggage section.
5. No flights will depart between the hours of 1-4pm for "naptime".
6. Should quality concerns arise, baggage handlers are required to invade
Dulles to distract critics.
7. Ticket prices for wealthy passengers will be slashed to increase air
travel by the poor.
8. All passengers are required to shred all travel documents before
9. I don't recall.
10. Sleeping accommodations on all flights should include: pillow, blanket,
and a chimp named "Bonzo".