An old man walks into a confessional and says, " I'm 82 years old, have a wonderful wife of 60 years, many children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up 2 teenage girls hitchhiking, took them to a hotel, and made love to each of them 3 times.
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Then why are you telling me this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody!"