After school one day Todd, an eager second-grader, came up to his
asked, "Mom, what's a pussy?"
Somewhat startled by the question, but directing her answer away from
adult definition, the mother replied, "Son, sometimes people say the
pussy, for short, when they really mean pussycat. You know like Boots,
cat that lives next door. Boots could be called a pussy or better yet,
That didn't compute with what Tod heard on the playground that day, but
continued, "Mom, what about a bitch? What is a bitch?"
She pursued her puritanical theme by answering, "Todd, an adult female
is commonly referred to as a bitch. But Son, where did you hear such
"From the fourth-graders on the playground, Mom," he replied.
"I think you should play with your second-grade friends and stay away
those fourth-graders," the mother stated.
Later, Todd found his dad working in the garage. He went up to his dad
asked, "Dad, what's a pussy?"
The dad contemplated how he should answer this delicate question. Then
resolving that an honest question deserves and honest answer, he
on the top shelf of his tool bench and took down a copy of the Playboy
magazine. He pulled out the centerfold and laid it on the workbench.
felt-tip pen the dad drew a very tight circle around the vulva of the
Pointing to the centerfold and looking his son square in the eye, the
said, "Todd, Son, everything inside that little circle is called a
"WOW," said Todd as his eyes bugged at the small circle. Now that made
sense about what he heard on the playground that day.
"Dad, what's a bitch" Todd asked?
"Well, Son, a bitch is everything outside that circle."