3 Nightmares

Rated Adult Jokes

Nightmare #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a
cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it,
he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches
sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the
guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

Nightmare #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his
wife asleep in bed.
He thought to himself, "What should I do? Oh - I know."
He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few
minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving
her legs.
Being quite startled, he asked, "What are you doing in here?!?"
She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"

Nightmare #3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little
horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" he asks grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister
shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need
be, Mom says she can come down herself and do it.

But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

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